All the time
Splendid isolation - April 2020
Time to read. Time to write. Time to love.
As February moved into March, I experienced a creeping mix of emotions. Impending doom, undiluted fear, the spark of possibility, a sigh of relief. The prospect of months at home in my virus free cocoon caused no alarm and prophesied no disruption to my immediate needs. Three months at home? I was ready for some peace and quiet, wanted a taste of the good life, more Barbara Good than Margo Leadbetter. I was all set for my sabbatical from out there.
The desire to embrace ‘the good life’ came without any of the reassurance wealth affords, and with no sense of privilege. I remember the voices on the newsfeeds as lockdown started, ‘I think I may have developed an unhealthy online shopping habit.’ they said, while another gushed, ‘At least I can still have fresh flowers delivered.’ Increasing numbers were confessing, ‘Just spent all day watching Netflix in jammies.’ And all those wittily presented half-truths, ‘By the end of this lockdown I’m going to be divorced or border-line alcoholic.’ ‘Does anyone want to adopt my children?’ ‘What do you mean school isn’t childcare?’ ‘I can’t get an Ocado delivery!’ The overabundance of exclamation marks made my eye twitch and I didn’t and still don’t relate to the materialistic experiences they were sharing.
While the wannabe chattering classes blabbered on filling the background noise online, I was preoccupied by my own uncomfortable incompatible thoughts. Untimely deaths, would I experience any? Work, would I have any? Income, would there be any? Write, I would finally have time. Read, everything I could get my hands on. Time, doing whatever I wanted. A determination to focus only on the pursuits I love was successfully obscuring the stabbing anxieties of maybe losing a loved one and the distress of an enforced separation from my daughter.
As the days have blended seamlessly into months of endless Sundays, life has developed an effortless pattern. I’ve been voice and video chatting with my daughter almost every day. Here at home we have watched very little television in the last three months, preferring on demand comedies, documentaries, and films. No news and absolutely no Boris, we can’t bear it. Working from home has been interesting too, four months ago most of us hadn’t heard of zoom, now I’m developing webinars and recording radio interviews on it. I’m writing every day. My garden looks amazing, the flowers and vegetables are the best they have been in years. I wonder if it’s because there is less pollution in the air. I have walked more during this time than I have in years. My hair may need the emergency services of a skilled pair of hands wielding a sharp pair of scissors, but my skin has never looked better and my eyes haven’t been this bright in years.
Plenty sleep, time in the garden, pleasurable walks, mouth-watering meals, glorious music around me. And wonderful books – literally – books full of wonder.
All the time.
I never expected a global Pandemic to feng shui my life.
